


Love and strange things (also its a trainwreck)

by prettyenglishtammy



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Adam Milligan is a Winchester, Adam Milligan isnt dead, Adam gets adopted, Adams totally a theatre kid, Amy's a badass, Bisexual Female Character, Everyone Is Gay, Everyone Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester, Except Crowley and Gavin, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gay Male Character, How Do I Tag, Kinda Crack, Lucifer (Supernatural) is Forgiven, Lucifer becomes surrogate king of hell because he gets drugged, Lucifer is bisexual, Lucifer is hopeless with romantic things, Michael has PTSD, Michael helps, Michael the begrudging cupid, Multi, Mutual Pining, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining Dean Winchester, Secret Relationship, Slow Build Castiel/Dean Winchester, Texting, teen and up because of language
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-09
Updated: 2019-06-15
Packaged: 2020-02-29 04:12:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18770962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prettyenglishtammy/pseuds/prettyenglishtammy
Summary: its a texting fic between some charecters so read ig? mostly its just a bunch of the guys interacting and being assholes but yaknowThere's lots of gays





	1. The First Mistake

**Author's Note:**

> Hello yes someone help me what is formatting how do you bold things ahhhhhhh im not good at writing  
> Sorry if theyre ooc and sorry for any errors in my writing except the ones that are supposed to be there  
> im writing this for my best friend oops  
> maybe more chapeters? ill see how i feel
> 
> Ra-Ra - Rowena  
> Lucifer - Lucifer  
> Sammysicle - Sammy  
> Deadontheinside - Dean  
> TheInnocent - Castiel  
> Justdont - Gabriel  
> Memeichael - Michael  
> Crow - Crowley  
> ashKETCHum - Ketch  
> LyinConvict - Mary  
> Princey - Gavin

**Deadontheinside created a group chat!  
Deadontheinside added Crow, Sammysicle, Justdont, Memeichael, Lucifer, ashKETCHum, LyinConvict, Princey, TheInnocent, and Ra-Ra. **

**Ra-Ra:** No.  
**Deadontheinside:** but u didn’t even know what I was gonna say,,,  
**Ra-Ra:** I didn’t need to. The answer’s no.  
**LyinConvict:** well this is a new development  
**Princey:** Why am I here anyway?  
**Deadontheinside:** i felt that we should probably have a group chat to chat and stuff, idk  
**Sammysicle:** I told him to make the group chat. Dean use actual grammar.  
**Memeichael:** [grammanazi.jpg]  
**Sammysicle:** Of course, your entrance to the group chat is a meme.  
**Memeichael:** its in the name *fingerguns*  
**Justdont:** *fingerguns* bi solidarity  
**Sammysicle:** hey babe  
**Justdont:** hey  
**Memeichael:** not in front of my salad!  
**ashKETCHum:** Michael we get it you’re single  
**Sammysicle:** We all knew your entrance would be reprimanding someone  
**ashKETCHum:** yeah sorry I’m late I was helping Cas work the app  
**TheInnocent:** Hey guys!  
**Sammysicle:** Anyone know if Deans blushing  
**Crow:** hello and yes  
**Justdont:** EXPOSED!!!!!!  
**Deadontheinside:** im not!  
**Crow:** uh huh  
**TheInnocent:** Dean what does your name mean?  
**TheInnocent:** You can’t be dead on the inside otherwise you wouldn’t be able to function?  
**Deadontheinside:** it’s a metaphor Cas  
**TheInnocent:** Oh, I don’t really understand  
**Deadontheinside:** it means that I feel tired and stressed mostly  
**TheInnocent:** Oh ok, Thanks Dean!  
**Memeichael:** WHIPPED  
**Deadontheinside:** NO!  
**Sammysicle:** Crowley is he still blushing  
**Crow:** yup his face is so red rn  
**Ra-Ra:** this chat is a Trainwreck  
**Ra-Ra:** I left for like fuckin 20 mins to talk to my wife and ya’ll are fuckin roastin’ dean  
**Princey:** What the fuck who talks like that?  
**Crow:** Texans.  
**Memeichael:** HOLY SHIT  
**TheInnocent:** Dean, what does fuck mean?  
**Deadontheinside:** uhh  
**Deadontheinside:** its an expletive you shouldn’t say it  
**TheInnocent:** Why?  
**Deadontheinside:** it’s a rude word and Rowena and Gavin are rude  
**TheInnocent:** Really?  
**LyinConvict:** wwwwwwwhat the fuck is up Kyle  
**Memeichael:** THAT’S MY JOB  
**TheInnocent:** But nobody here is called Kyle?  
**Memeichael:** my dear you have so much to learn  
**TheInnocent:** I feel scared  
**Memeichael:** Good.  
**Lucifer:** Shut up and go to bed you short fucks  
**Sammysicle:** I’m 6’2!  
**Lucifer:** Yeah and im still taller than you.  
**Lucifer:** Go to bed it’s like fucking 1am  
**Memeichael:** whys ur name so fuckin bland  
**Lucifer:** I will shank you  
**Lucifer:** Go. To. Bed.

**Deadontheinside < Sammysicle**  
**Deadontheinside:** Sammy help me  
**Sammysicle:** Is this about your huge fat crush on Cas  
**Deadontheinside:** yeah howd you know  
**Sammysicle:** Just fcking tell him I’m tired of getting texts from you about how ‘his eyes sparkle just right’ and how his laugh is ‘the cutest thing in the world’  
**Deadontheinside:** but what if he misinterprets it that’d be so awkward  
**Sammysicle:** Then explain it dumbass. Say you want to have with him what me and Gabe have. Except probably a lot less affectionate insults  
**Deadontheinside:** but sammyyyyyyyyyyy  
**Sammysicle:** Go to bed Dean, I am going to cuddle my asshole boyfriend.


	2. The accident ft. mutual pining???

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabe has anxiety  
> Sabriel fluff  
> Deans accident  
> Mutual pining  
> Hunting trip

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woooo  
> i'm not a writer, I do not own the characters, constructive criticism is welcome!  
> thanks for the kudos, it makes me feel accomplished <3
> 
> I have plot! but expect updates sporadically cuz i'm not good at fitting to a schedule.  
> Some characters may be ooc whoops
> 
> Crow – Crowley  
> Deadontheinside – Dean  
> Sammysicle – Sammy  
> Justdont – Gabriel  
> Memeichael – Michael  
> Lucifer – Lucifer  
> ashKETCHum – Ketch  
> LyinConvict– Mary  
> Princey – Gavin  
> TheInnocent – Castiel  
> Ra-Ra – Rowena
> 
> Incase you forgot!

**Memeichael < Group Chat**  
**Memeichael:** did nobody bother changing the name of the group chat seriously  
**Memeichael** _changed the name of the chat to_ **‘I imagine death so much it feels more like a MEMEory’**  
**Memeichael:** that’s better  
**Deadontheinside:** Michael wtf its 4am  
**Memeichael:** im hopped up on caffeine  
**Memeichael:** why r u up?  
**Deadontheinside:** Couldn’t sleep?  
**Memeichael:** are u asking me or telling me  
**Deadontheinside:** f u  
**Memeichael:** no thanks  
**Deadontheinside:** ur horrible  
**Memeichael:** thx  
**Ra-Ra:** holy fuck shut the fuck up before I eviscerate you  
**Deadontheinside:** sorry

**_A FEW HOURS LATER_**  
**Sammysicle:** I woke up and checked the group chat  
**Sammysicle:** 1) Why were you two up holy shit just go back to sleep  
**Sammysicle:** 2) Did you have to reference Hamilton,,,  
**Memeichael:** 1) imma crash my caffeine high is breaking  
**Memeichael:** 2) CUZ I CAN  
**Deadontheinside:** holy shit I didn’t even see the reference  
**Justdont:** Inconceivable!  
**Sammysicle:** Morning babe!  
**Justdont:** morning

**Justdont < Sammysicle**  
**Justdont:** im sorry  
**Sammysicle:** for what babe?????  
**Justdont:** for being so private  
**Justdont:** I know im supposed to do this lovey-dovey shit with you because were dating and all but I just get really anxious and I really wanna show you how much I love you and everything but I just cnat and im os soryr  
**Sammysicle:** Babe, calm down. Do the breathing exercises I taught you yeah? It’s okay  
**Sammysicle:** You’re not supposed to do anything you don’t want to do, and I’m sorry if you’ve felt that I’m pressuring you in some way but it’s okay  
**Sammysicle:** I love you, ok? And I know you love me. You don’t have to do big gestures or anything to show me, I already know babe  
**Sammysicle:** I get that you’re uncomfortable with PDA and that’s fine, we can just show our love to each other when were alone. You have nothing to prove to me babe  
**Sammysicle:** I love you  
**Justdont:** thank you

**Crow < I imagine death so much it feels more like a MEMEory**  
**Crow:** report: there’s a demon hanging round this old bridge around where Cas and Dean are  
**Crow:** you two wanna take this one?  
**TheInnocent:** Sure!  
**Princey:** and why were you two alone together hm  
**Princey:** and how’d you know where they are?  
**Memeichael:** princey over here with the real qs  
**Crow:** I put a tracker in everyone’s phones  
**TheInnocent:** Dean wanted to show me something called ice cream!  
**Deadontheinside:** CAS!  
**LyinConvict:** I SENSED DESTIEL!  
**LyinConvict:** also, I just woke up  
**Princey:** wtf it’s like 3pm!  
**LyinConvict:** and?????  
**Princey:** never mind  
**Crow:** so destiel, you going?  
**Deadontheinside:** yeah yeah bye mofos  
**Memeichael:** uh huh  
**Memeichael:** so their ship name is destiel now?  
**Memeichael:** I like it  
**ashKETCHum:** whaddup dudes ma mans  
**Princey:** …Ketch?  
**Sammysicle:** Ketch are you ok?  
**ashKETCHum:** all’s good in the hood ma mandeigdgyugjoyeqm  
**Sammysicle:** Ketch?  
**ashKETCHum:** sorry guys _someone_ stole my phone  
**LyinConvict:** *shrug*  
**Justdont:** omg mary  
**Justdont:** stop following in my footsteps  
**LyinConvict:** someone’s gotta play the pranks while you’re too preoccupied thinking about a _certain someone_  
**Justdont:** DON’T  
**Sammysicle:** Really babe?  
**Justdont:** I mean,,, yeah? You’re cute and I love you so  
**Sammysicle:** Babe,,,  
**Princey:** is he blushing  
**Crow:** oh he’s probably blushing hardcore right now  
**LyinConvict:** yep he is  
**Sammysicle:** Mary wtf when did you get here?  
**LyinConvict:** I was with ketch outside then I came back here  
**LyinConvict:** we went running together because ketch thinks I need more sun *shrug*  
**Sammysicle:** sounds about right yeah  
**TheInnocent:** HELP  
**Sammysicle:** What’s wrong????  
**TheInnocent:** we got there and the demon was waiting for us, right, so we went up and were fighting it but Dean got hit really badly and was shoved through the bridge  
**TheInnocent:** I’m pretty sure he shouldn’t be coughing up blood???

**Justdont < TheInnocent**  
**Justdont:** its ok little bro calm down  
**Justdont:** we’re on our way, try and keep him awake  
**TheInnocent:** he’s hurt really bad I’m scared  
**Justdont:** I know, I know, but he’s survived worse huh?  
**TheInnocent:** He can’t die, he can die without me telling him I love him  
**Justdont:** You love him?  
**Justdont:** never mind, just keep him awake okay? We called an ambulance and are on our way, hang on

**Sammysicle < I imagine death so much it feels more like a MEMEmory**  
**Sammysicle:** what did the doctor say?  
**Justdont:** he’ll be okay, he’ll survive  
**Justdont:** concussion, a few broken ribs from being slammed through the bridge, a couple cuts up his arms, a strangely deep cut along his shin  
**Justdont:** he’ll be in the hospital a week or more probably so they can make sure nothing goes wrong with the recovery  
**Justdont:** but he’s fine  
**LyinConvict:** oh thank the stars  
**Memeichael:** that was scary  
**Princey:** I’m glad he’s not dead  
**ashKETCHum:** he’s not allowed to do anything labour intensive for a month  
**Crow:** ketch you’re a worrywart  
**Crow:** but I’m glad the kids not dead yet  
**Lucifer:** I must admit, I’m glad he’s alive if only for my little brothers’ sake  
**Ra-Ra:** holy shit what did I miss?  
**Ra-Ra:** omg I’m glad the brats not kicked the bucket yet

Gabe cautiously sits next to a shaking Sam in an overly bright hospital waiting room. After informing the others about Dean’s condition, his focus shifted to his boyfriend and he strode over, wanting to help. Gabe knew Sammy was in no condition to talk properly right now, so he opened his arms in a silent offer of a hug. Sammy looked at him confusedly so he elaborated, “I know you don’t want to talk out loud, but maybe a hug will help? You can cry all you want to me and nobody has to see, yeah babe?”  
Sammy shortly nodded and fell into his boyfriends embrace.

**Justdont < Sammysicle**  
**Justdont:** how you holding up?  
**Sammysicle:** scared out of my mind mostly and relieved that he’s safe now  
**Sammysicle:** you’ve never called me babe before  
**Justdont:** that’s what you’re focusing on?  
**Justdont:** never mind, you dork  
**Sammysicle:** thank you,  
**Justdont:** I love you, and your brothers gunna be okay. The doctors are positive he will recover fully so don’t worry about it okay babe?  
**Justdont:** I’ll keep you safe until you feel you can face the world again babe, promise.


	3. The one where they get sorted and Lucifer dissapears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brother bonding  
> Pining  
> Lucifer disappears  
> Hogwarts sorting  
> Gabe is soft & has brolture (bro culture)  
> basically he says bro alot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heres another chap  
> Feel free to leave your own ideas for everyone's Hogwarts house in the comments, just don't be mean about it  
> As always, constructive criticism is welcome  
> Also, there's another character and a revelation next chapter, sorry this is kinda a filler

**Justdont < TheInnocent**  
**Justdont:** Have you even left the hospital in the three days?  
**TheInnocent:** I don’t think so  
**Justdont:** you need to relax  
**TheInnocent:** I can’t  
**Justdont:** I’ll come get you. Dean won’t be awake for another couple hours, Im coming to drag you home so you don’t smell and can actually change clothes.  
**Justdont:** Dean gets his phone back in the morning, you can text him  
**Justdont:** the love of your life is fine, now come take a shower bro, you reek  
**TheInnocent:** okay, I trust you…  
**Justdont:** I love you, lil’ bro

**Deadontheinside < I imagine death so much it feels more like a MEMEory**  
**Deadontheinside:** hospital.jpg  
**Deadontheinside:** I Lived, Bitch  
**Memeichael:** the chat name so accurately describes this moment  
**Deadontheinside:** DIE  
**Memeichael:** no thanks  
**Crow:** glad to hear from you, asshole  
**Deadontheinside:** alrightie  
**Princey:** you’re a bitch  
**Deadontheinside:** gee I feel so welcomed  
**Sammysicle:** We were scared, Jerk  
**Deadontheinside:** I noticed, Bitch  
**TheInnocent:** why are you all being mean to him?  
**Princey:** we show affection by gently bullying each other  
**TheInnocent:** I’m pretty sure that’s not healthy  
**Ra-Ra:** it’s not  
**Ra-Ra:** Dean you’re a bitch  
**Deadontheinside:** I been know  
**ashKETCHum:** glad you’re back man  
**LyinConvict:** good, you’re not dead  
**Justdont:** ah yes, the elusive Dean Winchester  
**Justdont:** you’ll be discharged by the end of the week  
**Justdont:** also stop running from the nurse’s, moron  
**Princey:** why the fuck is you running from the nurses  
**Deadontheinside:** they smell weird  
**ashKETCHum:** it’s called antiseptic  
**Deadontheinside:** what??  
**ashKETCHum:** nurses smell like antiseptic usually. You wouldn’t know due to the abundance of times you spent not going to the hospital  
**Deadontheinside:** wow you sound like Sammy  
**Memeichael:** yougotmethere.jpg  
**Lucifer:** ah yes. Welcome back, Dean.

**Lucifer < The Brotherhood**  
**Lucifer:** Bothers  
**Lucifer:** Brothers*  
**Lucifer:** Same thing  
**TheInnocent:** what’s up bro  
**Justdont:** yeah wow you never speak on here  
**Lucifer:** I’ll be missing for a while  
**Lucifer:** I’m going to apologise to my kids  
**TheInnocent:** that’s good!  
**TheInnocent:** Im proud of you for deciding to do this on your own  
**Justdont:** yeah bro, good luck  
**Justdont:** I’ll tell the others you’re leaving for a bit  
**Lucifer:** Don’t tell them what I’m doing, please?  
**Justdont:** why?  
**Lucifer:** I’ll tell them myself when it’s done  
**TheInnocent:** okay, good luck!  
**Justdont:** don’t die  
**Justdont:** …so  
**Justdont:** hows your pining after Dean coming along?  
**TheInnocent:** I don’t want to talk about it  
**Justdont:** If it makes you feel better, I think he likes you too  
**TheInnocent:** Really?  
**Lucifer:** Yes really, now stop texting me  
**Justdont:** dude, put the chat on mute  
**Lucifer:** bye bitches

 

**Justdont < I imagine death so much if feels more like a MEMEory**  
**Justdont:** don’t contact luci he’s away  
**Princey:** that sounds mildly concerning  
**Justdont:** don’t worry he’ll tell you when he gets back  
**Justdont:** probably  
**Memeichael:** Luci’s such a Gryffindor  
**Crow:** don’t  
**Deadontheinside:** let’s do house alignments  
**Crow:** why  
**Deadontheinside:** because  
**ashKETCHum:** Dean are you ok, you’re being kinda weird  
**Sammysicle:** it’s the meds  
**ashKETCHum:** ok  
**Deadontheinside:** anyway  
**Deadontheinside:** Im a Gryffindor  
**LyinConvict:** Yeah no  
**Crow:** I have to agree  
**Ra-Ra:** you aren’t a Gryffindor  
**Deadontheinside:** fine, what am I then  
**Ra-Ra:** Slytherin like me  
**Sammysicle:** I see it  
**Deadontheinside:** dead to me  
**Sammysicle:** 😊  
**Deadontheinside:** die  
**Memeichael:** what am I?  
**Ra-Ra:** Ravenclaw  
**Memeichael:** cool!  
**Princey:** Im a Hufflepuff  
**ashKETCHum:** yeah same  
**TheInnocent:** I don’t know what you’re talking about?  
**Sammysicle:** have you never seen _Harry Potter_?  
**TheInnocent:** uh no?  
**Memeichael:** OMG  
**Memeichael:** how???  
**LyinConvict:** I haven’t seen it either. It’s not like we’ve had a lot of time to do fun stuff recently  
**Justdont:** basically it’s about this kid who’s abused then finds out hes a wizard and not only that hes the _chosen one_ and goes on loads of adventures to try and kill this evil guy without a nose  
**Sammysicle:** I mean,  
**Memeichael:** accurate  
**Justdont:** the houses are where different types of kids go so there’s less fighting with people in the same common room and stuff  
**Justdont:** Slytherin’s for the cunning, ambitious, and resourceful  
**Justdont:** Gryffindor’s for the brave, daring and chivalrous  
**Justdont:** Ravenclaw is wit, learning and wisdom  
**Justdont:** and Hufflepuff is for the loyal, hard-working, determined and patient  
**Crow:** Im a Slytherin  
**Ra-Ra:** don’t kid yourself  
**Ra-Ra:** you’re a Hufflepuff  
**LyinConvict:** Im probably a Ravenclaw  
**Ra-Ra:** yeah, I can see it  
**Sammysicle:** Im a Ravenclaw  
**TheInnocent:** I think I’m a Hufflepuff  
**Deadontheinside:** Yeah, you’re sweet enough for it  
**TheInnocent:** uh, thanks 😊  
**Memeichael:** DESTIEL  
**LyinConvict:** DESTIEL  
**Sammysicle:** so we’ve got Hufflepuffs Ketch, Cas, Gavin and Crowley  
**Sammysicle:** Ravenclaws me, Mary and Michael  
**Sammysicle:** Gryffindors Lucifer and Gabe  
**Sammysicle:** and Slytherins Dean and Rowena?  
**Memeichael:** More info for the spreadsheet  
**Deadontheinside:** what  
**Memeichael:** shhh  
**Princey:** what  
**Memeichael:** shHHHH  
**Crow:** You Don’t Want To Know  
**Sammysicle:** you know about this???  
**Memeichael:** SHHHHH  
**Ra-Ra:** Shouldn’t y’all be asleep by now?  
**Ra-Ra:** It’s like midnight  
**Justdont:** Rowena, Honey  
**Justdont:** our sleep schedules are wack  
**Ra-Ra:** you’re wack for using the word wack  
**Sammysicle:** I thought I was your honey,,, :/  
**Justdont:** not yet  
**Sammysicle:** that’s unsettling  
**Ra-Ra:** go to bed thots  
**Memeichael:** I never thought I see the day when ra-ra says thots  
**Ra-Ra:** I actually hate this name but I can’t figure out how to change it so  
**Ra-Ra:** goodnight anyway my wife’s calling  
**Memeichael:** use protection  
**Ra-Ra:** stay away from me

 

**Justdont < Sammysicle**  
**Justdont:** I love you  
**Sammysicle:** I love you too  
**Sammysicle:** You ok?  
**Justdont:** Yeah im good I feel really affectionate rn  
**Sammysicle:** come cuddle me then babe  
**Justdont:** gotta finish this thing but I’ll be there soon  
**Justdont:** have you talked to Dean yet?  
**Sammysicle:** no…  
**Justdont:** Sammy, it’s not your fault. Dean will say the same  
**Justdont:** you have to talk to him  
**Sammysicle:** I know I know  
**Sammysicle:** I loooooove yoooouuu  
**Justdont:** I love you too nerd

**Sammysicle < Deadontheinside**  
**Sammysicle:** Hi  
**Sammysicle:** are you okay?  
**Deadontheinside:** im as good as I can be. Im being let out soon, so im definitely getting better  
**Deadontheinside:** what brought this on?  
**Sammysicle:** …  
**Deadontheinside:** no. don’t blame yourself, Sammy, there was nothing to be done  
**Deadontheinside:** Why don’t we have a brother’s day when I get outta here? Just you and me hanging out  
**Sammysicle:** I’d like that  
**Deadontheinside:** good. Now go back to cuddling your bf, its like 1am


	4. Brother Bonding, Another Gay and Luci's Back From Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New groupchats!  
> Gays  
> ADAM  
> Secret Relationship  
> Luci's back and king???  
> Memes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow yes another update  
> Im procrastinating doing my work  
> you meet Adam  
> Thanks for the Kudos <3
> 
> Crow – Crowley  
> Deadontheinside – Dean  
> Sammysicle – Sammy  
> Justdont – Gabriel  
> Memeichael – Michael  
> Lucifer – Lucifer  
> ashKETCHum – Ketch  
> LyinConvict– Mary  
> Princey – Gavin  
> TheInnocent – Castiel  
> Ra-Ra – Rowena  
> aDAMNshame – Adam   
> NEW CHARACTER^^^^ :D

**Deadontheinside creates a group chat!**  
 **Deadontheinside adds aDAMNshame, Sammysicle**  
 **Deadontheinside** _names the group chat_ **‘The Circle of Life’**  
 **Deadontheinside:** ironic I know  
 **aDAMNshame:** why do you do this to me  
 **Deadontheinside:** it’s my job  
 **aDAMNshame:** wow okay  
 **Sammysicle:** I mean, this is a good idea  
 **Sammysicle:** We can keep in contact better   
**aDAMNshame:** so, what disaster has happened recently  
 **Deadontheinside:** I just got out the hospital  
 **Deadontheinside:** then me and Sammy had a brother bonding day  
 **aDAMNshame:** seriously?  
 **Deadontheinside:** yeah  
 **Sammysicle:** He had a broken rib and a concussion and some deep cuts and stuff because him and Cas underestimated a demon  
 **aDAMNshame:** username  
 **Deadontheinside:** WOW RUDE  
 **aDAMNshame:** *shrug*  
 **Sammysicle:** ANYWAY  
 **Sammysicle:** How’s being a normal citizen in the city?  
 **aDAMNshame:** Work’s boring, I hate being a bartender  
 **aDAMNshame:** I have to clean the bathrooms every time im there because my co-workers hate me  
 **aDAMNshame:** and all the drunks keep flirting with me, like, no I have a boyfriend  
 **Deadontheinside:** YOU’RE GAY?  
 **Sammysicle:** YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND? SINCE WHEN?  
 **aDAMNshame:** oops  
 **aDAMNshame:** yes, im gay and yes I have a boyfriend  
 **aDAMNshame:** we’ve been dating for about 6 months and no, youre not allowed to meet him  
 **Deadontheinside:** aww why  
 **aDAMNshame:** You’ll interrogate him and freak him out and Sammy will internet stalk him  
 **aDAMNshame:** I want him to be comfortable before you meet because he’s got PTSD, anxiety, and is rather insecure  
 **Sammysicle:** Does he make you happy?  
 **aDAMNshame:** Yes  
 **aDAMNshame:** I think I might love him.  
 **Deadontheinside:** HOLY SHIT  
 **Sammysicle:** oh my god  
 **Deadontheinside:** Can we meet him soon?  
 **aDAMNshame:** you don’t have to be overprotective dude  
 **aDAMNshame:** You don’t let me work with you because you don’t want me hurt but im fine  
 **aDAMNshame:** He’s cute and always the gentleman towards me, even if he memes like 24/7  
 **Sammysicle:** Where’d you guys meet?  
 **aDAMNshame:** we both go to the same dance class  
 **aDAMNshame:** he looked really anxious and I went up and started flirting and found out he’s a really nice guy  
 **aDAMNshame:** and he blushed like the entire time we were talking  
 **aDAMNshame:** so, I left with his number and a date scheduled for the next day  
 **Deadontheinside:** Little bro got game  
 **Sammysicle:** You’re the only one without game Dean  
 **Deadontheinside:** NO IM NOT  
 **Sammysicle:** You’re the only single one because you don’t have the courage to ask Cas out  
 **aDAMNshame:** I knew it  
 **Deadontheinside:** I’m getting to it!  
 **aDAMNshame:** SUUUUURE  
 **aDAMNshame:** fuck gtg my shift starts in 20 and im not even out of bed

 

**Deadontheinside < I imagine death so much it feels more like a MEMEory**  
 **Deadontheinside:** All the Winchester children are gay  
 **Princey:** what  
 **Deadontheinside:** why are you up?  
 **Princey:** why are YOU up? Also, its only like 9pm  
 **Deadontheinside:** touché  
 **Deadontheinside:** anyway, me, Adam and Sam are all gay of some sort  
 **Deadontheinside:** im bi, I don’t know about the others  
 **Deadontheinside:** also Adam has a boyfriend  
 **Sammysicle:** yeah but he won’t tell us who  
 **Ra-Ra:** ah yes, another gay  
 **Crow:** there’s more of you?  
 **Ra-Ra:** rude  
 **Justdont:** Since when was Adam a Winchester  
 **Sammysicle:** since we adopted him?  
 **Justdont:** ?? you have criminal records  
 **Sammysicle:** nothing a little hacking couldn’t fix  
 **ashKETCHum:** Where’d Adam and his boyfriend meet?  
 **Sammysicle:** Dance class apparently. Adam saw his soon-to-be boyfriend and went over to flirt and got the boys number and a date  
 **ashKETCHum:** aww cute!  
 **Memeichael:** what are you talking about?’  
 **Memeichael:** oh Adams boyfriend  
 **Sammysicle:** did you know????  
 **Memeichael:** uh,,, no  
 **Sammysicle:** sure

 

**Memeichael < aDAMNshame**  
 **Memeichael:** so  
 **Memeichael:** you told them?  
 **aDAMNshame:** Im sorry, it just slipped out! I wanted you to be comfortable….  
 **aDAMNshame:** Im sorry  
 **Memeichael:** its okay, I know its hard to keep this secret  
 **aDAMNshame:** still  
 **Memeichael:** its alright babe, its not like they know  
 **Memeichael:** we can tell them soon?  
 **aDAMNshame:** really? You’d be okay with that?  
 **Memeichael:** yeah  
 **Memeichael:** I mean, im still anxious but we’re not breaking up anytime soon and mostly im scared they’ll say im not good enough for you  
 **Memeichael:** you know how overprotective they are  
 **aDAMNshame:** of course you’re good enough for me! I chose you, didn’t I?  
 **aDAMNshame:** anyway, my brothers have no say in who I date, so even if they are assholes and say we have to break up or something its not happening  
 **aDAMNshame:** but they wont  
 **Memeichael:** Its just, they know me as the jokester and im always referencing memes and stuff, so what if they think im not going to take this seriously?  
 **Memeichael:** I love you and I really want to stay with you, I don’t think I could take it if they thought I’d hurt you  
 **aDAMNshame:** you love me?  
 **Memeichael:** shit, sorry, its too soon and stuff and oh no ughh  
 **aDAMNshame:** its not too early.  
 **aDAMNshame:** I think I love you too  
 **Memeichael:** yeah?  
 **aDAMNshame:** yeah  
 **aDAMNshame:** now come over so we can make a pillow fort to fight off your insecurities  
 **Memeichael:** please  
 **Memeichael:** I’m on my way

 

**Lucifer < I imagine death so much it feels more like a MEMEory**  
 **Lucifer:** Crowley we might have a problem  
 **Deadontheinside:** Luci?  
 **Lucifer:** Don’t call me that  
 **Sammysicle:** Where’ve you been? You haven’t been on here for a few days  
 **Lucifer:** Finding and apologising to people I wronged. Namely, my children  
 **Sammysicle:** really?  
 **Lucifer:** Yes.  
 **Lucifer:** Crowley?  
 **Crow:** what’s the issue?  
 **Lucifer:** I’ve kind of been make king of hell  
 **Lucifer:** temporarily  
 **Crow:** good luck mate I ain’t doing that shit  
 **Lucifer:** Crowley  
 **Crow:** Bye!  
 **Princey:** How’d you even?  
 **Lucifer:** I really don’t remember  
 **Lucifer:** I was kind of kidnapped and then forced to do some ceremony thing on drugs and now I’m king  
 **Lucifer:** Help  
 **Sammysicle:** What’s the problem though?  
 **Lucifer:** I just wanted to apologise to my children and suddenly my phone is blowing up with people texting and calling me to turn people into demons  
 **Lucifer:** I didn’t even give them my number!  
 **Lucifer:** How annoyed do you think they’d be if I just left?  
 **Ra-Ra:** Probably very annoyed  
 **Memeichael:** he need some milk!  
 **ashKETCHum:** I’m not sure this is the time   
**Memeichael:** its not, bye motherfuckers  
 **TheInnocent:** Hi Brother!  
 **TheInnocent:** Why don’t you just give some of your duties to your demon workers? Then you’ll have free time!  
 **Lucifer:** Yeah actually why didn’t I think of that?  
 **Justdont:** I really don’t know, but welcome back, mostly glad you’re not dead  
 **Lucifer:** I can’t really appreciate the sentiment  
 **Justdont:** shut up  
 **Justdont:** do that and stop annoying me I’m going to drag Sammy away from his research  
 **Lucifer:** How polite.  
 **Ra-Ra:** Well it is almost midnight.  
 **LyinConvict:** Holy shit I haven’t been on here for a day and y’all are already in a mess?  
 **LyinConvict:** Jeez  
 **ashKETCHum:** tbh I’m not even surprised  
 **Princey:** same honestly, someone gets in trouble like every day  
 **Lucifer:** Unfortunately, it was me this time  
 **Ra-Ra:** I’m going to bed. I don’t want to deal with this shit.


	5. Lucifer and Amy, sitting in a tree....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meet Amy  
> Lucifer is hopeless  
> Overprotective friends  
> Some Sabriel  
> Michael the begrudging cupid  
> Adam ships it  
> Adam also knits

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is kinda late but I did tell you about sporadic updates!  
> Amy is amazing, I love her  
> I hope you also love her as much as Lucifer  
> (Lucifer is hopeless)  
> THANKS FOR THE KUDOS I LOVE ALL OF YOU  
> <3 enjoy

**TheInnocent < I imagine death so much it feels more like a MEMEory**  
**TheInnocent:** Good Morning everyone!  
**LyinConvict:** it’s too earlyyyy  
**ashKETCHum:** its 9am  
**LyinConvict:** EXACTLY  
**Sammysicle:** hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii  
**Justdont:** When was the last time you slept babe?  
**Sammysicle:** AWW you called me babe  
**Sammysicle:** I woke up 47 hours, 13 minutes and 54 seconds ago  
**LyinConvict:** that’s slightly unnerving  
**Justdont:** yeah you need to go to sleep  
**Sammysicle:** but baaaaaaabeeeeeee  
**Justdont:** Will you sleep if I come and cuddle you?  
**Sammysicle:** YES  
**ashKETCHum:** its weird seeing Sammy with no filter  
**ashKETCHum:** he’s not even using grammar  
**Princey:** soft  
**Memeichael:** my longest yeah boi ever  
**Justdont:** Sammy’s asleep, he was out like a light  
**Memeichael:** Do we know where dean is?  
**TheInnocent:** he’s out with Crowley and Rowena dealing with some changeling shit  
**Princey:** of course you’d know  
**TheInnocent:** What’s that supposed to mean?  
**Princey:** nothing at all  
**Princey:** Nothing. At. All.

 

 **Deadontheinside < I imagine death so much it feels more like a MEMEory**  
**Deadontheinside:** What happened while we were gone?  
**Memeichael:** Well, it was 9am and people were complaining, then Sammy stopped using grammar and Gabe was soft and Gavin teased Cas  
**Ra-Ra:** so normal then?  
**Memeichael:** yeah pretty much  
**Lucifer:** Uh hello.  
**Lucifer:** I might have a problem.  
**Deadontheinside:** what kind of problem  
**Crow:** do I need to beat someone up  
**Lucifer:** No, no. I just…  
**Lucifer:** Someone summoned me.  
**Crow:** what  
**Deadontheinside:** what  
**Ra-Ra:** what  
**Memeichael:** how  
**Sammysicle:** Hello im up, what’s going on?  
**Sammysicle:** oh  
**Justdont:** yeah uh how? Do you even have a proper summoning thing?  
**Lucifer:** Not really?  
**LyinConvict:** did they summon you from a book?  
**Lucifer:** Yeah, and she refused to burn the pages or anything  
**Deadontheinside:** oh so it’s a girl?  
**Justdont:** imagine the eyebrow wiggle  
**ashKETCHum:** what, what did she need help with  
**Lucifer:** Uh…  
**TheInnocent:** oh my god was she sacrificing something or what???  
**Lucifer:** No, calm down.  
**Lucifer:** She wanted help with her Latin homework.  
**ashKETCHum:** she WHAT  
**Lucifer:** Yeah…  
**Sammysicle:** that’s hilarious  
**LyinConvict:** Lol  
**Crow:** Lol do you even know Latin?  
**Lucifer:** I mean yeah? I kind of have to, being king of hell and all.  
**Justdont:** oh yeah  
**TheInnocent:** did you do the poor girl’s homework?  
**Lucifer:** No!  
**TheInnocent:** But you did help her?  
**Lucifer:** …..Yes.  
**Deadontheinside:** was she cute?  
**ashKETCHum:** Dean!  
**Lucifer:** Yeah a little  
**Deadontheinside:** Get some!  
**TheInnocent:** Oh my god that’s adorable  
**LyinConvict:** WOOP  
**Justdont:** what does she look like?  
**Memeichael:** holy shit  
**Lucifer:** She had red hair and blue eyes, like ocean blue  
**Lucifer:** And she wore a cute white crop top and some blue cut-off jeans and purple converse  
**Ra-Ra:** I thought I’d never see the day  
**Princey:** Holy macaroni I leave for a few hours and now lucifer’s got a girl  
**Lucifer:** Firstly, she is not mine.  
**Lucifer:** Secondly, she is not a possession.  
**Deadontheinside:** what a gentleman ;-P  
**Ra-Ra:** Please never emote again, it doesn’t suit you  
**Crow:** does she know you’re king of hell?  
**Lucifer:** I don’t think so?  
**Sammysicle:** Do you want us to go and find her to get that summoning ritual?  
**Lucifer:** No, it’s okay.  
**Deadontheinside:** did you get her number?  
**Lucifer:** Yes I did.

 

 **Amy-bodyHere? < Lucifer**  
**Amy-bodyHere?:** This is lucifer?  
**Lucifer:** Yes, what do you need?  
**Amy-bodyHere?:** Well…  
**Amy-bodyHere?:** You’re cute, and really nice.  
**Amy-bodyHere?:** Thanks for the help with my Latin, by the way  
**Lucifer:** Thank you, Lady.  
**Lucifer:** You’re welcome.  
**Amy-bodyHere?:** You use proper punctuation,  
**Lucifer:** If I am to be talking to such a pretty lady, manners suggest I should be courtly and proper.  
**Amy-bodyHere?:** You’re so adorable oh my god

 

 **Lucifer < I imagine death so much it feels more like a MEMEory**  
**Lucifer:** Help  
**Lucifer:** I think she’s flirting with me.  
**Deadontheinside:** Holy shit!  
**Justdont:** That’s a good thing isn’t it?  
**Lucifer:** Yes but I don’t know how to flirt!  
**Memeichael:** Its okay, just be courtly and be yourself. She’s still texting you yes. So, she wants to be around you.  
**Memeichael:** If she didn’t want to know you she wouldn’t be texting you.  
**Ra-Ra:** when did you get good at relationship advice?  
**Memeichael:** someone’s been rubbing off on me  
**Crow:** Who?  
**Memeichael:** 😉  
**Ra-Ra:** Oh my god  
**Sammysicle:** Have you texted her back yet?  
**Lucifer:** Oh.  
**ashKETCHum:** so that’s a no.

 **Lucifer < Amy-bodyHere? **  
**Lucifer:** I must say that you are too.  
**Lucifer:** What are you studying at university?  
**Amy-bodyHere?:** I’m majoring in art but I thought Latin would be interesting so I’m taking it as an extra class 😊  
**Lucifer:** I’ve never been to university and my duties are taking up a lot of my free time. What’s it like?  
**Amy-bodyHere?:** Its really fun actually! The work is a lot sometimes, but there’s a lot of freedom and half the time something weird is going on.  
**Amy-bodyHere?:** I mean yesterday my professor, Adam, came into class, put on a video and started knitting a sweater for his boyfriend  
**Lucifer:** Adam?  
**Amy-bodyHere?:** Yeah Adam Milligan. He’s really nice and his boyfriend is just, a literal meme. I’ve only met him once. I think his name’s Michael.  
**Lucifer:** I know a Michael, and Adam Milligan.  
**Amy-bodyHere?:** Really? That’s so strange! What a coincidence  
**Amy-bodyHere?:** do you talk a lot?  
**Lucifer:** Not really. I’ve met him once or twice, but I am on a group chat with Michael and Adam’s brothers.  
**Amy-bodyHere?:** Wow okay. I didn’t think you’d really be on a group chat, especially being King of Hell or whatever.  
**Lucifer:** How did you know that?!  
**Amy-bodyHere?:** don’t worry, I got it from ‘your duties’ and my professor said something about a dude called Lucifer being king of hell the other week in class.  
**Lucifer:** You’re quite smart, Amy.  
**Amy-bodyHere?:** I know. Gotta know your own worth 😉  
**Amy-bodyHere?:** anyway, got to go to class  
**Amy-bodyHere?:** Text you later?  
**Lucifer:** Yes, Text you later.

 

 **Lucifer < Memeichael**  
**Lucifer:** I didn’t know you and Adam were dating.  
**Memeichael:** WHAT? WHO TOLD YOU?  
**Lucifer:** It was Amy, the girl who needed help with Latin?  
**Lucifer:** She is in Adam’s class, and she met you once.  
**Memeichael:** oh, okay.  
**Memeichael:** WAIT YOU MEAN AMY WILLIAMSON?  
**Lucifer:** Probably? I don’t know her last name.  
**Memeichael:** She’d be really good for you, I think. She’s really sweet and nerdy and exactly your type.  
**Lucifer:** I don’t have a type.  
**Memeichael:** suuuuurrrreeee  
**Lucifer:** Also, your boyfriend is knitting you a sweater.  
**Memeichael:** Really? He’s so cute.  
**Lucifer:** Please do not mush to me.  
**Memeichael:** I’ll make you a deal. If I can mush about Adam to you, you can mush about Amy to me.  
**Lucifer:** …  
**Lucifer:** Fine.  
**Memeichael:** I won’t tell anyone, promise.  
**Lucifer:** I won’t tell Sam and Dean you’re dating their younger brother.  
**Memeichael:** They’re totally going to kill me.  
**Lucifer:** Maybe not kill you, but definitely threaten you with bodily harm.  
**Memeichael:** …Fuck

 

 **Memeichael < aDAMNshame**  
**Memeichael:** I love you  
**aDAMNshame:** I love you too?  
**aDAMNshame:** What brought this on babe?  
**Memeichael:** You’re making me a sweater  
**aDAMNshame:** Who told you!?!?  
**Memeichael:** So apparently Lucifer’s Mystery Latin Girl is Amy Williamson from your class.  
**aDAMNshame:** Holy shit??  
**aDAMNshame:** Actually, they fit together really well?  
**Memeichael:** IKR!  
**Memeichael:** anyway, Amy told Lucifer and Lucifer now knows about us and told me about the sweater  
**aDAMNshame:** It was supposed to be a surprise ☹  
**Memeichael:** I love it anyway  
**Memeichael:** Lucifer won’t tell anyone. We made a deal.  
**aDAMNshame:** I can’t get away with murder, I am bound to take it further  
**aDAMNshame:** I took the pills, I’ve been consumed. I drank the water, I had to choose.  
**Memeichael:** what?  
**aDAMNshame:** I’m still here with a fire burning, burning inside. If you want to burn, light it up light it up, let it rise  
**aDAMNshame:** When you’re high who ya flying for, when you ride who ya riding for. When you toast who you are drinking for, when you play, gotta deal with the devil  
**Memeichael:** Are you Text Singing at me?  
**aDAMNshame:** Gotta deal with the devil. Gotta deal with the devil. Gotta deal with the devil  
**Memeichael:** You are!  
**Memeichael:** stop  
**aDAMNshame:** You love me  
**Memeichael:** I do  
**aDAMNshame:** anywayyyyy, what deal?  
**Memeichael:** Im allowed to gush about you if hes allowed to gush about Amy  
**aDAMNshame:** aww you gush bout me?  
**Memeichael:** duh  
**aDAMNshame:** wow  
**aDAMNshame:** are you going to set them up?  
**Memeichael:** Want to help?  
**aDAMNshame:** DUH


End file.
